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Faux-cotta

August 25, 2009

The only part of Star Trek that really fascinated me was the halodeck.  I remember one episode of Next Generation in which an ice cream sundae was procured.  Halographic foods with the taste, look and smell of the real thing – sans calories!! What is this future paradise and where can I sign up for the ludicrous jumpsuits?

Until this culinary and dietary utopia exists, we make due with faux renditions of our favorites.  I’ve done this sort of thing before – for Atkins I made fauxtatoes.  That is, cauliflower boiled within an inch of its life, blended to mashed potato consistency with enough butter to clog an artery or two.  Not bad, but not quite as good as the original.  Low carb though, and much like the Japanese fake food display, they looked convincing.

My latest endeavor also looked rather convincing, but turned out far less palatable than the fauxtatoes.  Julia was right – butter really does make everything better.

For this vegan diet I attempted to make fake ricotta – fauxcotta.  I just ran some firm mori-nu through the ricer, seasoned with salt and pepper, added a little tomato sauce, fresh basil and oregano and some shredded zucchini for heft.  The resulting mixture certainly looked like ricotta.  I stuffed some whole wheat pasta shells with the concoction, added marinara sauce to the top and baked for 20 minutes at 350.

There’s a reason fake things taste fake.  It’s because they are and no one likes a faker.  There is just no way to make convincing cheese out of vegetables so I have decided to stop trying. 

I always thought it was a little odd when vegetarians would eat fake chicken nuggets or corn dogs.  Fake meat is odd.  Fake cheese likewise.

Live long and prosper.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 25, 2009 5:44 pm

    Sounds like terror-cotta to me…
    However, fauxtatoes doesn’t sound so bad.
    To survive this vegan Hades, put on a Star Trek jumpsuit and go fauxgan.

    • kristenvolt permalink*
      August 28, 2009 11:59 am

      Alternate name for Faux-cotta? Ferkakt.

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