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Food Porn

September 2, 2009

I have heard it said that the internet was made for porn.  While I believe that’s probably correct, I also believe that everyone has their own guilty pleasure that keeps them at all hours glued to the monitor.  Mine may not be porn, per se, but it is definitely an obsession along those lines. I am addicted to the Domino’s Pizza website, not because it’s the best pizza (because, in my opinion, it isn’t), but because it has the best site.  This site was made for ogling.

 Late at night when I should be sleeping I will virtual window shop for foods that I cannot eat right now on this skinny bitch version of the vegan diet.  While I have always enjoyed looking up recipes, new food products, and  pictures of wonderful meals, I find that since implementing this self-imposed structure of skinny bitchery I find myself lusting after the things I cannot eat.  Specifically, the Create Your Pizza feature on the Domino’s website.  It sounds lame, but I assure you it is pretty close to pizza porn.  To the left of the screen is a plain crust pizza, to the right are topping choices which you can click on to place on the whole pie or half – Domino’s even goes so far as to specify on which side you would like the toppings.

 I add pineapple, mushrooms, onions, olives and more – I am dressing the naked pie with all the accoutrements allowed in vegan land.  I am off the tomatoes, I remove the sauce – the pie is truly naked now.  I add more vegetables.  What would it look like with a little cheese….beautiful, but no, I can’t have it – I remove it, then put it back on, then remove it, what about sausage?  That looks good, no remove, no put it back.  It’s a virtual peep show.

 Nearly every night I contemplate hitting send once a pie is fully dressed.  It could be at my door in 30 minutes, no questions asked, free and clear for $12.99.  No one would know.  Madam Domino isn’t telling.

 Nearly every night I go through these steps and often times even go so far as to enter my contact and billing information.

 I have yet to hit send, but the temptation is strong.  For now I am safe, it’s a virtual pizza and a virtual shopping cart, but I am always only 30 minutes from the reality of that pizza going virtually straight to my thighs.

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