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Diet Mountain Dew before bedtime will make you write crazy things

September 28, 2009

I go through spurts where I watch one of my favorite series from the 90’s – Chef!, starring Lenny Henry.  It’s gotten to the point where I fall asleep to it every night, I know every spot of dialogue and I have taken to some serious hypothesizing (is this a word?  No one fucking cares, so it stays) about how each prop meal was made and whether or not they used non tasty stabilizers for photos – things such as adding lard to what appears to be a chocolate mousse so it can be photographed under lights.

I am currently obsessed with where to find a teeny tiny melon baller type tool used in the opening credits to create perfectly round 10mm courgette pearls.

Courgette is my favorite vegetable this year and I wind up eating it at least every other day.  Right now my squash is diced, julienned, circle cut or just hacked at for a good minute or two depending upon my level of enthusiasm and/or desire to eat before I gnaw off my own hand. It would be nice to have this little tool to create a different shape because I am convinced that the shape of food has a serious impact upon its taste.

I am also fond of anything that makes my plate prettier.

Some day I will meet Lenny Henry and quiz him on this tool.  He will know nothing and I will leave our encounter disillusioned and bitter. Perhaps then I can move on to another memorize-it-all series.

I hope Duikelmans has this tool, I am formulating my sentence in Dutch now.  I plan to have an arsenal of notecards at the ready for just such “impulse” purchases. Now if I could just find where I packed up my supply of notecards.

I hate moving – it would be so much more convenient if there were a unit 313 specific (while I was out of town of course) tornado to whip through and dissolve all this stuff.  I could leave sans packing with a nice little check from insurance and not have to feels so weird about leaving this or selling that or do I take it or do I not.

A tornado may even scare up some chef tools I have misplaced or, in a Wizard of Oz moment, deposit my desired tools right in the house.  Yes, a benevolent tornado to take away the clutter and replace it with a mandolin and melon baller and maybe a pair of silver oxfords too (the only thing better than chefs tools are pretty shoes).

Then I could just click my heels and get the hell out of here and back to where I need to be.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. October 1, 2009 10:55 am

    I don’t know If I said it already but …Cool site, love the info. I do a lot of research online on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks, 🙂

    A definite great read..Jim Bean

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